And knowing that now, I can’t help but think about the legacy I want to leave other women, but especially the legacy I want to leave my daughter and daughters to come. And every time I think about the legacy I want to or feel called to leave, I am constantly brought back to the high calling set out before me in Titus 2:3-5.
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
I never used to internalize that Scripture as something personal. I would typically skim over it as one of those verses that “need not apply.” First of all, Paul was writing to Titus, not to me. And secondly, it is so outdated that it would be nearly impossible to apply to our culture today. I thought, “Busy at home- how archaic!”
Chris and I will be married 6 years next month. During our first year of marriage I quickly realized the importance of Titus 2 and how much it really did apply in a very personal way. I discovered the nearly impossible application of it today is not due to irrelevancy but that it has been abandoned for so long that it is now completely foreign to us amongst every generation.
That first year of marriage was extremely difficult for me- not for Chris and I, but between me and myself. I immediately realized that the house in fact did need to be worked. Despite my being a very happy and efficient working woman, there was still plenty to be done at home after my day job. I quickly learned I didn’t know how to manage a home, let alone myself. And after a large grease fire and the tenth night in a row of chicken and burnt Rice-A-Roni, I realized I didn’t know how to cook either. And while my husband graciously made sure the house kept running (often cooking and cleaning without ever complaining and always being an encouragement to me) I became fully aware that I didn’t know how to take care of a house. I didn’t know how to be a Proverbs 31 woman. And I realized what Titus 2 is really doing is exhorting older women to equip younger women in the ways of the Proverbs 31 woman.
Often times I talk to women that are dismayed that there are no older women who are either present or willing to teach them the ways of the strong and powerful Proverbs 31 woman. I was dismayed about that myself when I first discovered my need. But with marriage and kids brought on an urgency that broke me out of that stalemate and helped me embrace the powerful and freeing truth that with God’s wisdom and His desire to teach me, I can learn to make my house a home. The Titus 2 legacy can begin with me.
It has not been an easy training. Many who know me now are shocked to find out that the first 3 years of our marriage I spent teaching myself how to cook, make the house a home and find ways to save money. Chris can testify that it was 3 years filled with tears, cursing, flying pots and pans, fires, bloody fingers, burnt food, wasted money and in the end, a pizza ordered by my patient husband to save the night…and my sanity. (I should point out, the cursing has stopped and things have gotten a whole lot better, though the occasional mishap still merits a last minute pizza. ;)
It has not been an easy journey; but it was one I entered into with abandon. No excuses are permitted here. After all, if I want to learn to be like the Proverbs 31 woman, then “she works with eager hands…and sets about her work vigorously.” I have since embraced my role as the C.O.O. of my household and take such pleasure in making my house a home in every way. It is my family’s sanctuary; it is my sanctuary. It is where memories are created, where my children’s’ character will be formed, and hopefully where my kids will also embrace this legacy as their own.
In everything I do, in every day of my fleeting life, I want to fully equip women in the ways of the Proverbs 31 woman- the essentials and the character needed for every season of life. And I want to start with my family.
That is me in a nutshell. Some just think I am a nut. And that’s okay too. Looking back on my life, I won’t regret any of it. I know what I am here to do and I am not taking one day for granted.
