A Plague of Perfectionism

Lately I have been observing a current plague that is sweeping through the women in the Church. I am seeing more and more women who are natural-born leaders, gifted, and passionate- who are being stunted and imprisoned by the illusiveness of perfectionism. As I look at these incredible and inspiring women, I see this generation’s “Esthers” and “Deborahs”. And while all this potential is just waiting to shape the upcoming generations in powerful ways, I am seeing them continually hit a brick wall. Stuck in stagnation; battling not the enemy, but themselves and their own preconceived notions. My immediate observation is that when I am around these women who are destined to do God-sized things, their obsession with perfection, or lack thereof, seems to be a sign of insecurity. How do we move past the insecurity? How do we embrace our imperfection and yet embrace the potential that God is calling us too?

Let’s begin by exposing a twisted little truth. What is insecurity? Ironically, it’s pride. We wrongly put the focus on ourselves when we strive, hope or even believe that we have the ability to achieve perfection this side of heaven. Exposing this hidden truth challenges us to take the focus off of ourselves. But where do we instead put the focus?

We need to begin putting our focus in daily being- not doing. We don’t need to strive to BE anything. We just need to listen. And as we listen, growth is inevitable. Like a loving parent, God is sufficient to daily teach us what we need to learn. He knows where He wants to take us, and He is fully capable of taking us there.

Lately I have been painfully watching women who have the ability to change the world gather together, but not to join forces in developing the next generation of leaders. They stand side by side, patting each other on the backs, comforted and thankful that they too are not perfect. They console their insecurities by reassuring one another that they aren’t the only ones who don’t have everything together. Is it not a gathering of false humility? The focus is still on us. And we miss opportunities to embrace the power of God to change the next generation.

I by no means have anything together. But I will not be imprisoned by what I lack. I have seen firsthand what God can teach me and redeem in my life just by listening to what He wants to teach me in the seemingly meaningless moments of my days. I am where I am because He has taken me there- patiently and lovingly. But because of this, many women have expressed to me that they get frustrated with me because they think I believe I have everything somehow miraculously or “naturally” figured out. Other women have expressed that they think I am not vulnerable or seem fake. They don’t know the tumultuous journey I have been through in the past. They have not been witness to the painful lessons and continual learning process that I have submitted and committed myself to. (If you want to know, I am an open book and will gladly share the road that I have been on.)

Yes, I am imperfect. Yes, we are imperfect. Thank God that we are saved by God’s grace! We can all agree on that. But His grace doesn’t just stop at the cross…and for that, I don’t stop there either. Here is where my concern lies for these next-generation women leaders: there is another aspect of God’s grace that we forget about that needs to be applied to our lives today- the peace and freedom that is found in the Grace that is God's Wisdom.

God’s grace for us in this day is this: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him (James 1:5).” We can’t stay stagnant in our prideful insecurities. We can’t continue to sit around taking comfort in each other’s imperfections. We are called to something great. We are called to be molded by God’s wisdom. We are called to impact the next generation and lead them in the grace of God’s wisdom that He is revealing to us daily. We have all we need in Him. We have His wisdom to access every day, for EVERY situation. Let us not hide in embarrassment. Let us be bold in God’s wisdom, bold in our callings, and bold in our convictions. Esther and Deborah were. So too should we be.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7